For a Happy New Year, Invest in Yourself
OK, this starts out glum but there is a silver lining at the end…
I am really trying to wean myself off of television news and especially business news. It’s so distorted and inaccurate! The collapse of the markets in real estate, stocks, and commodities was forecast by some, but certainly not by the majority of the talking heads and business “experts” we see on CNBC, Fox, or CNN (Larry Kudlow, Ben Stein, Stuart Varney, and so many more). As I’ve listened to their Pollyanna pronouncements over the last few years (actually, since before the tech bubble) and seen them proven wrong over and over again, it seems logical that the ones to listen to now are the ones that were, instead, right over the last few years (here’s a few: Jim Rogers, Ron Paul, Nouriel Roubini, Peter Schiff). These folks were often the ones sidelined and ridiculed. These are the guys that would deserve the last laugh now, if there was anything to laugh about.
Bernanke and Paulson are in a desperate scramble to prop up the economy by bailing out the banking system, big industry, and whoever else may come along telling tales of fiscal doom and carrying gullible politicians in their back pocket. The next beggars may be the state governments - California comes to mind. But their Keynesian cure-all of monetary expansion seems to have run out of air. The increase in GDP per dollar of debt is heading towards zero.
Are we headed toward a deflationary depression? Followed by inflation, maybe even hyper-inflation? Well, I don’t know, but in the mean time, what does one do with his/her money? We hear of a “flight to cash”. Treasuries are sporting nearly zero percent interest. Yikes. Some crafty folks are looking at putting their money into gold again, if they can get it. Seems smart. But I have a different suggestion, and so this is the segue into my shameless pitch for plastic surgery…
That’s right, spend the dollars you have now on plastic surgery. You’ve been thinking about it for months, maybe years. You’re feeling miserable about the money you’ve lost in your 401k. Every time you check your home value on zillow.com it’s down. Except for maybe a brief Obama rally, the stock market will likely be down or flat for a long time. The dollars you have now will almost surely be worth less, maybe much less, in the not-to-distant future.
Think about it! Cosmetic surgery can be a real boon to self esteem. Age discrimination is a fact of life for many in the workforce, and rejuvenation surgery such as a facelift or blepharoplasty may give you back your edge. You might need whatever edge you can get as unemployment rises. Also, now is a good time to begin the process of getting beach-ready, and that may mean a breast augmentation or tummy tuck. An investment in yourself can pay huge and long-lasting dividends! If surgery is not a consideration, Botox and fillers are great options, at a fraction of the cost and down-time.
You do need to be prudent, and I’m not a financial adviser. You certainly want to make sure you are secure in your job. But if you have the money to spend, or can get a fixed rate loan (we suggest www.carecredit.com) with reasonable terms, consider plastic surgery. You might just be happier, maybe a lot happier, than if you put your money somewhere else!
Douglas J. Mackenzie, M.D., F.A.C.S.