Al Qaeda Now Resorting to Exploding Breast Implants

The Sun is reporting that Britain’s MI5 believes women have had the plastic explosive PETN implanted into their breasts “under techniques similar to breast enhancing surgery”. Too bad those crazy Al Qaeda can’t channel that ingenuity into something more productive. But to make it even more outrageous, MI5 also reports explosives being implanted into mens’ buttocks. I must admit, the concept of male buttock augmentation is just creepy to begin with. But now it could bring down an airliner!

Apparently, our existing technology, including the naked body scanners now en vogue, can’t detect these bombs. We probably won’t be seeing any MRI scanners at airports any time soon, so maybe the TSA will start training their agents to do breast exams on every woman passing through, and enlist plastic surgeons to train said agents. I wouldn’t put it past the bureaucrats at the TSA to propose it. We now live in a world where people just yawn when New York City proposes banning salt in restaurant kitchens. But that’s another rant, probably best posted elsewhere.

The radical surgeons were apparently “trained at some of Britain’s leading teaching hospitals”. This plastic explosive surgery story couldn’t have come at a worse time. With the global finance crisis upon us, plastic surgery is down 18% according to the American Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons. A New York Times article the other day basically said plastic surgery has suffered from the economy as well as other cultural changes. I think we plastic surgeons should ask Obama for a bailout. And maybe the FDA’s powers can be expanded to restrict exposive breast implants from getting into this country.

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